Don’t Panic When This Happens...
You’ve arrived! After months (maybe even years) of planning you’ve started that long-anticipated trip and you’ve arrived at your first destination and…
You’re miserable and want to jump on the first plane home!
What???, Wait…
The panic and feelings are real in fact expect them..
So lets look how to get over them and back to enjoying your trip!
Even after decades of traveling and traveling on my own I almost always have that sinking feeling within the first couple of days to a week when I get to my first or next destination.
Just this year I traveled to Thailand for 5 weeks on my own and four of those weeks were on the Island of Koh Samui at a Health & Wellness Retreat that I had stayed at before…
But still I roller coasted for the first four days thinking I had…
made the wrong decision
felt so alone
worried about all the money I had spent and other crazy thoughts…
and for a nanosecond, I even thought about cutting short my trip!
Perhaps you’ve found yourself wandering aimlessly your first few days and feel lost in a sea of strangers…
Or
Maybe you’re struggling on a physical level with aches and pains from all the walking etc.
Or
Thinking you should be doing more and instead just wanting to hang out at a cafe with a wine or retreat to the solitude of your hotel.
The good news is the solution doesn’t have to involve jumping on that plane and heading home.
Traveling even back to places you’ve been before is still a CHANGE…
And change whether good or bad can be discomforting and overwhelming.
Arriving at your destination when you start your trip is almost anti-climatic…
Here’s why and how to anticipate and overcome that feeling of loneliness and panic and...
get back on track to having the most amazing experience of your life and lifelong memories to take home!
No 1. You’ve spent the money so you better make the most of it.
Ok, this used to be a biggie for me.
But let’s get you can never see and do everything in most places even if you’ve been to them before.
And also…
What exactly does “making the most of it” mean to you vs. someone else?
If making the most of it is soaking in the amazing views and weather at a location then thats ok.
Bottom line, you do you Boo. These are your experiences and memories and nobody else's.
No 2. Fear Of Missing Out (FOMO)
I’m here I have to see everything because I may never be back.
Like everything in life you have choices and the great news is you get to make those choices.
Again, you can never see and do everything unless you have an unlimited budget and time.
And who knows you may well be back.
I used to think all my travel had to be somewhere new that I hadn’t been before.
But that changed over the years and there have been places that I have deliberately chosen to go back to over new locations like Provence, Thailand and Mexico.
Just like everything else in our life as we do more of something we learn and grow and change.
Rather than being in fear of missing out relish and delight in your unique experiences that you are creating!
Bottom line the FOMO is more likely to come from your friends and family ;-)
No 3. Fear of Judgement from Others
I get it a lot of friends and family know what you are doing have given you advice and ideas and you feel you have to live up to what you “think” they expect you to do.
So first a reminder… everyone loves being an armchair expert so it comes with the territory.
It’s similar to a bride planning a wedding, plenty of friends and family come out of the woodwork with the offers of advice and yes…
You can’t stop them from judging whether its about the brides gown or the particular location activity you do while traveling.
So let it go.
When you return you are not going to be thinking or remembering what they told you...
You will have your mind and heart filled with your unique experiences and memories.
No 4. The build up to the travel vs. actually being on your trip
Like most things in life travel is a process made up of different steps and arriving and settling into your destination or first stop is one of those steps.
We are creatures of habit and routine.
So often when we get to a new place we don’t yet have a routine thats going to work for being there vs. being back at home and that throws us off our game.
Secondly if you’re traveling solo the really big thing is what’s going on in your head. But more about that in No. 7 below
Let’s deal with getting settled in physically and tactically first.
Remember that roller coaster I was on in Thailand at the retreat?
Well here’s what I did to move through it which is all part of that “Step” of arriving and settling in…
I reminded myself that I was like everyone else and having that “moment” was normal.
Then I looked at what I had planned!
This is key while we all crave and think we would love to have an empty calendar in fact we don’t.
Having a plan gives us purpose and direction.
Now that doesn’t mean the calendar has to be jam packed with activities from dusk to dawn but there needs to be something planned for the day.
Having a plan or some activities planned and scheduled before you arrive will really help here. But don’t be afraid to flex and change.
Go back to your priorities of what you want to achieve…
For me it was swimming and being outside every day. And my second priority was to spend time being alone with my thoughts and just “being”.
Once I anchored on those priorities I was off and running again.
I set myself a schedule of when I would do my laps in the pool each day, getting up in the morning to go sit on the beach and meditate…
No. 5 The difference between traveling when you were younger vs. now
Ooooh this is a tough one if you’re not prepared for it ahead of time.
There is nothing worse than getting to a destination you have been dreaming about only to find out you are exhausted, aching, struggling to keep up.
Sure we know we are getting older but the reality of how well our body responds and adjusts to traveling is an entire topic in its own right.
But lets touch on a few key points here.
First off, be realistic about any physical limitations you may now have vs. when you were hitch hiking through Europe in your twenties 🙂
Take those limitations into account when you plan your activities and the locations you are visiting.
Europe can be particularly challenging with cobbled streets, steep paths to visit castles etc.
Weather can be a real factor racing around in 37 Celsius (98.6 Fahrenheit) with a humidex of 40 Celsius (104 Fahrenheit) and a 5 hour walking tour are just not the best fit hmmmm?
So be kind to yourself.
Be grateful for what you body will still do.
Plan for “down” days.
You may have a heavy walking day so plan for the next day to be a “down” day where your activities might be lying by a pool or wandering the shops in the piazza or...
sitting at a cafe with a coffee or tucked up on your balcony with a good book.
If you do plan on more challenging activities i.e., hiking do some test runs hiking at home before you travel to your destination.
Be ok with just sitting and watch the world go by in an amazing place or location.
You will be surprised at how fulfilling an activity that can be!
No. 6 Traveling alone vs. traveling with others what to expect
There is nothing more fun than having a full day seeing new sights and experiences than to share that at the end of a day with someone else.
This can be a shock and contribute to that panic when you first get to a destination.
You’re out and about during the day maybe surrounded by plenty of people but you get back to your hotel and its just you.
So what do you do when you’re traveling solo?
Post some pics on social media and you’ll find you immediately have comments with friends and families living vicariously through your travels
Journal in any shape or form, write it down, create a voice memo or even a video of your days experience.
Drop a note or text to someone sharing a snippet of your day.
Do plan on having calls (phone, Facetime etc.) with friends and family back home.
Choose some activities where you might get to meet other people who are also traveling solo.
I have found smaller tours i.e., a mini van with a handful of people is a great way to meet people vs. joining a coach load of people for example.
No. 7 Being alone with your thoughts may be a new and scary experience
Aaaah last but not least…
Traveling solo isn’t just a physical thing its a big arse “mental” thing!!!
This might be the first time in years if not decades where you have truly had time to yourself and time to think.
And our minds are going to serve up all kinds of thoughts some amazing things but also some scary $%^& stuff as well.
But this can be the biggest benefit of traveling solo.
The opportunity to be truly alone with your thoughts.
Being uncomfortable at first with what comes into your mind is normal!
Let those thoughts flow.
You are right where you need to be in this moment :-)
The opportunity to travel is so much more than instagram moments, amazing wine and dinners and cultural experiences…
It’s about growth as a human being.
And you just gave yourself the biggest gift to grow in an amazing setting.
Take full advantage of it, embrace it!
Wrapping up…
Reminder… this is “your” trip not anyone else’s.
You get to choose and do whatever you want.
If your idea and vision of having an amazing time in a particular place is to gaze at the view and people going by in a plaza then DO IT!
Remember my panic about being back at the Retreat in Thailand?
Well some of my panic was coming from hearing other guests who were there only a week (I was there for four) racing around from treatment to treatment...
So I was feeling bad thinking I should start signing up for a gazillion treatments!!!
Whoa, my number one priority was to swim every day and be outside and my second priority was to spend time alone with my thoughts and just “BE”!
Once I regrounded on what my original priority was I was able to calm my mind down...
Always come back to what you want from this trip, these are your experiences, your memories!
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Female Travelers Over 50 By Raewyn Crist: @FemaleTravelers50Plus
